As you know, St Rita’s South Johnstone, is committed to creating a safe and caring environment for your child. We want to ensure that our students are set up for success and that our school culture is one that is rooted in respect and kindness.   

On that note, we are thrilled to be implementing an internationally recognized program with our year 3 and 4 students in Term 2, Friendology 101 by URSTRONG. This wellbeing program empowers children with the skills, language, and self-confidence to be better friends and develop healthier friendships. Through a series of 8 sessions, the students will learn language to better express their feelings, stand up for themselves, and put out Friendship Fires (URSTRONG’s term for conflict). A key element of Friendology 101 is teaching students the difference between normal conflict and bullying. We strongly believe this program’s focus on teaching the skills to develop healthy relationships, starting at a young age, is the proactive and preventative approach and, ultimately, a possible solution to future bullying episodes in school and beyond. Friendology 101 also helps students and teachers establish a common language so that they can co-identify social issues and learn to better communicate solutions. As social-emotional wellbeing and character education are already such an integral part of our school’s philosophy, this friendship program aligns perfectly with our values. Research clearly demonstrates that children who have healthy friendships are involved in more leadership roles, have higher self-esteem, a more positive body image, feel empowered and more in control of their social lives, perform better academically, feel more comfortable talking to their parents and teachers about peers and conflict and make smarter decisions in future relationships.   

As the program unfolds, we hope you will keep the conversation going at home. We are excited to watch our students strengthen their social skills by becoming more resilient, empowered, and empathetic friends. We aim to work with our grade 3 and 4’s specifically to start, as this is the age where Friendships truly mean the world and, as a result, form intimate, deeply connected relationships. During the tween stage, their unique character begins to emerge and their interests, passions, likes, and dislikes become more integral to their personality. However, no relationship is perfect (Friendship Fact #1) and it’s just a matter of time before friction becomes flames – what URSTRONG calls, a Friendship Fire®. It is a natural instinct to seek harmony in close relationships and, therefore, innately dread conflict. Some children might initially cope with conflict on their own by repressing the uncomfortable feelings or adjusting their own behaviour to accommodate the other person. When the Friendship Fire® is not put out, however, it escalates, feelings become intense, and the Fire gets bigger inside leading to wellbeing and mental health issues as well as behavioural changes.   

In an effort to deal with these feelings and put out the Fire, children are tempted to choose inappropriate ways to feel better. They can roll their eyes, build alliances, gossip, use exclusionary tactics, become passive-aggressive, end the friendship, and so on. These indirect ways of managing conflict, called relational aggression, allow children to portray a false appearance to the outside world of “being nice to everyone.” Depending on social status and level of confidence, some children are more overt or aggressive about their Fires, while others turn inward and suffer silently. The story, however, is the same…children not having the tools to manage conflict in an open, honest way that respects themselves and others. We will be mindfully implementing the Friendology 101 program which helps understand what is normal in a friendship and create friendships that are transparent. We learn how to safely and comfortably manage conflict to maintain and foster healthy relationships so they’re less likely to engage in stereotypical behaviours and more likely to have a transparent, healthy, and effective conversation with their friend. Children will learn how to assert themselves with kindness, empathy, and understanding, building stronger and more resilient selves and friendships.   

For more information about the program, please visit https://urstrong.com/parents/. Thank you for your continued support at home. As you know, my door is always open and please be in touch if you have any questions.  

Jessica Lang

Guidance Counsellor