As the new school year commences it is completely normal for children to feel some uncertainty or anxiety towards these changes as new classes, teachers, schoolwork, and routines challenge us. The additional element of our uncertain weather may cause children and families some disruption to establishing routines initially, but adaptation and resilience are key components that we must foster in our children through conversations and modelling of healthy behaviours. Nurturing confidence and resilience in our children are essential to supporting their growth and development. Involving children in morning routines before school and having pick up plans in place can build and maintain strong connections, so we can foster an environment where our children thrive with assurance and self-assurance. 

Issues with drop offs

Children communicate their needs and emotions through behaviours, often in ways that may seem puzzling or challenging to parents. Miscuing behaviours, such as tantrums, withdrawal, or defiance, are signals of underlying feelings that children may find difficult to express verbally. Recognizing these behaviours as attempts to communicate can be transformative in our approach to parenting. Children may also have physiological responses to feelings they cannot express such as unexplained tummy pains or headaches that could be feelings of nerves or excitement. Children thrive with clear, consistent, and predictable, expectations and routines and establishing these early in the year is a wonderful foundation that proves beneficial as the year progresses. St Rita’s classrooms and teachers are setting these for learning and growth of our students and having them in place at home allows for happy, healthy children in our learning community as well as minimising the tears and drop-off difficulties. 

Circle of Security Parenting and Triple P parenting resources and courses have some exceptional information and practical tips for families to assist with routines, school drop offs and maintaining connection with our children, as they return to school. When children feel securely attached to their caregivers, they develop a strong foundation of trust and confidence. Here are some ways to nurture this connection:

1. Be Present: Take moments throughout the day to engage with your child fully. Whether it's during playtime, mealtimes, or bedtime routines, offer your undivided attention and attunement to their needs.
2. Start with a positive attitude: Help your child navigate their feelings by acknowledging and validating them. Look for positives and things to look forward to rather than dwelling on fears. Let them know that all emotions are acceptable and provide a safe space for expression.
3. Set Boundaries with Love: Establishing boundaries is essential for a child's sense of security. Communicate rules and expectations calmly and respectfully, ensuring that they understand the reasons behind them.
4. Follow through with consequences both positive and negative: Avoid bribery for compliance but ensure your child understands they can rely on you to do what you say you are going to do. If you say you will check on them, go check on them, even if they are asleep. This builds trust and reinforces connection so they can rely on you to feel safe. It is important to not make flippant threats when feeling overstimulated as these are harder to follow through with and the consequence should match the behaviour. Child safety and trust is always the most crucial element of connection.
5. Encourage Independence: Foster your child's autonomy by allowing them to make age-appropriate choices and decisions. Simple choices such as what flavour yoghurt to pack in their lunch and apple or banana provides opportunities for autonomy without our children coming to school with a lunchbox filled with chips. Celebrate their accomplishments and opinions, no matter how small, to instil confidence in their abilities and thoughts.
6. Set up ‘Goodbye Rituals’: This could be a high-five, hug, kiss or personal handshake. You could sing a line of a song together or have a saying that you repeat to one another. Something personal and repeated to create a pattern and ease into the farewell for the day. 

By nurturing a strong connection with our children, we can empower them to become confident to enter their new classrooms and adjust to these initial changes much easier allowing for their learning and sense of belonging in the classroom to flourish.

The Community Support Centre Innisfail has free Circle of Security Parenting training as well as Triple P courses. Call 40438 400 or click this link to enquire/register.

Jessica Lang

Guidance Counsellor